I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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