I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
