I need help removing her.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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