Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The uberlube is also flammable
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
