The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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