remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
