filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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