im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
