i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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