? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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