so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
