I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
