Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
