So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
