I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dear god my vagina.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
