There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
