I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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