elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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