You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
