2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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