matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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