ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
