After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
