she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
