NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
