he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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