Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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