My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
