you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
