I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
