I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
