So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
