Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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