I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
