I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
