it wasn't lemon gatorade
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
