you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
whose parrot is this?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
