Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
