See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
