The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
