What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
