yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
