She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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