would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i came on her dog
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
