Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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