Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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