Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
