yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
