I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
