the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
